"Twentieth Century Fox Animation Presents"
"a Blue Sky Studios Production"
Neil deBuck Weasel: [first lines; narrating] The universe...a vast expanse of space and matter. It includes all that we see, and all that we know. Since the beginning of time, we have wondered how it came to be. A gloriously orchestrated plan? A chance series of events? Or something much, much...dumber?
Sid: Everybody has somebody and all I got is my boyish good looks and this Mariachi band.
[Sid's Mariachi band begins to play, and he starts to cry]
[Meteorites explode like fireworks, making Manny and Ellie's anniversary go better]
Manny and Sid: [to each other] Nice save with the light show. Wait, you didn't do this? Then who did?
Ellie: Oh, Manny... I was so afraid you'd forgotten, but you lit up the sky for me? How'd you do it?
Manny: Uh, well... [thinking] ...A magician never reveals his secrets.
Ellie: Oh... thank you!
To be continued
Macrauchenia: Meteor shower!
Crash: [sniffs his arm pit] Shower?!
Buck: Oh, right on the spleen! Utterly useless, but totally hurts.
Diego: Hey, Buck! Welcome back, buddy.
Shira: Wait. This half a snack is a dinosaur whisperer?
Buck: And expert salsa dancer. [scats] I have 1 eye, but all my original teeth. Would you like to count them? [shows his teeth]
Shira: No thank you.
Buck: And this must be... Nectarine?
Peaches: Um, Peaches.
Buck: Semantics my dear. I am deeply honored.
Julian: Sweet eyepatch. Very gangster.
Buck: Thank you! [to Peaches] I like this kid.
[Crash and Eddie keep drumming all the time, Manny takes the drum sticks away]
Manny: Do you mind?
Crash: Boy, he really sucks the fun out of everything, doesn't he?
To be continued
Buck: No worries, because I have a plan.
Manny: Really? (You've got a plan?) To stop an asteroid?
Buck: [shows the tablets on the prophecy] Look, the last two asteroids have pummeled the earth in the same spot. And it's about to happen again. We've got to go there and see what's attracting the asteroid. Once we know why it's coming... we can figure out how to send it somewhere else.
Granny: That plan is so dumb, I wish it had a face so I could smack it!
Manny: Let me get this straight... instead of running away from a deadly asteroid... you want us to run directly towards it?!
Buck: I know it sounds suboptimal. But the good news is, it'll kill us no matter where we went!
Diego: Well, that's reassuring.
Manny: Okay. Even if we get to the crash site... how are we supposed to change what is literally written in stone?
Buck: Ah, my cynical friend, the dinos were wiped off the face of the Earth, but some escaped. They changed their fate and we can change ours, too! Who's with me?! [they all look, then huddle in]
Manny: So... what do you think?
Ellie: Honestly, I'm worried the weasel's right.
Buck: No! [pans showing him with a leaf hat] Don't listen to the weasel. He's a raving loon! [everyone looks at him confusingly; laughs] Sorry, I just love playing devil's advocate. And looking fabulous! [swoops away while waving his bottom]
Diego: Well, Buck has saved our lives before, right?
Shira: But what if he can't this time?
Peaches: I don't know what to believe, but I'm afraid our lives will be over before they begin.
[they break up]
Manny: [Buck cuts out a prophecy] Okay, I guess...we're in.
Crash and Eddie: [salute] Crash and Eddie reporting for duty!
Eddie: Haha! "Duty". [he and Crash laugh]
[Ellie and Manny walking behind Peaches and Julian]
Manny: [scoffs] Look at him. [Manny sees Julian walking funny] Who walks like that? [mocking Julian] "Oh, look at me. I'm Julian. Forget the asteroid and give me a hug, bro dad." [coughing] Look at that pretty bird over there. [shows Julian the bird]
Julian: Yeah. That is a pretty bird. Good eye, Manny.
Manny: [laughs nervously] The sky's literally falling and she thinks we're just gonna let her stroll into the wilderness with mister no plan's bouncy walk.
Ellie: Stop picking on him.
Manny: Come on, El, you're still mad at me, are you?
Ellie: No, I'm not still mad. Because that's not how I wanna spend what could be our final days together. But if we somehow survive that planet-killing hunk of space rock, you're in for it.
Manny: If we survived, we lose our daughter.
Ellie: Well, I've been thinkin' about that, too. What if--
Manny: [interrupts] Oh, I know. We destroy their relationship, right? That way we never have to let her go and she'll just stay our little girl FOREVER! [Laughs evilly]
Ellie: No, you psychopath. What if we convince them to stay near us?
Manny: Oh, that's better. I like it. But how?
Ellie: The way we always get her to do what we want, we make her think it's her idea.
Manny: You sneaky, sneaky minx. He-he-he.
Ellie: Let's just hope we haven't lost our touch.
Buck: [goes upside down in front of Ellie] Found it. Behold, mammals, a sneak preview of the asteroid to come. A space rock. Fresh from the cosmos. [licks the space rock] Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. A taste iron, a carbon... [gurgles] ...oh, and a hint of nickel. Oh, space taste lonely.
Brooke: Here he is. The master of meditation. The supreme sovereign. The four times heavy thoughts champion of the world! (The Shangri Llama!)
[Shangri Llama spits into a bowl which a Geotopia Aardvark holds]
Granny: Is that a llama?! I hate llamas! They spit and smell!
Diego: [leaning over Shira] So does she.
Crash and Eddie: So do we!
[Manny and Ellie are seeing Peaches embracing Julian]
Ellie: We did a good job raising her. She's stronger than we know.
Manny: 2 days ago, I'd have given anything to keep her with us. Now I'd give anything just to see her get married... and leave home...
Ellie: Play with her kids... dance with her husband.
Manny: Yell at him when he forgets their anniversary.
Ellie: It was a good one, wasn't it? Our life? You, me, and Peaches?
Manny: [embracing Ellie] The best.
To be continued
Sid: [after he accidentally cracks Geotopia as he meant to give a crystal to Brooke] Whoopsies!
Shangri Llama: No, no, no! Oof! [starts to build Geotopia, but he can't] Simpleton! NINCOMPOOP!
Sid: You talking to her (Brooke) or me?
Shangri Llama: That wall was the one thing...keeping us young, now we're all doomed! DOOOOOOOOOMED!!! [everyone gasps] And now I think I have a fever. Thank you so much, doofus!
Brooke: Hey, easy there, Llama! This is the doofus of my dreams. He meant well.
Shangri Llama: [mocking Brooke] Oh, "he meant well." WHO CARES?! [Peaches and Julian gasp]
Peaches: [servery to Julian] So much for serenity.
To be continued
Brooke: May I remind you Geotopia is not yours to keep.
Shangri Llama: No, you may not!
Brooke: It came from the sky, and now it's time to give it back.
Shangri Llama: It's not!
Brooke: It's "too", you old coot. [to the Geotopians] Change isn't easy, but it's part of life. It's time for us to embrace it again, whether you (Shangri Llama) like it...or not.
Shangri Llama: [in a sing-song voice] No-oot!
Brooke: Listen Llama, I will go nuts and granola on your butt. So either get on board...or go twist yourself into a pretzel and na-ma-stay out of our way.
Teddy: What you need is more fiber.
Geotopia Shovelmouth: He's right. [a small crystal drops into the tub; it sinks onto the cracked spot, making bubbles fill up and to make all of them young again]
Shangri Llama: Oh. Ha! Ha, ha, ha! Shanghai Llama's back on top baby! [touches his beard while the Geotopia beaver returns to normal] Ooh, ahh, mmm. [Teddy's old man beard is gone, and he returns to normal]
Teddy: Gladys? [Granny now becomes young, beautiful and fancy]
Granny: Well, hello, Teddy Bear! [Teddy looks surprised, his ears make heart-shaped ears]
Granny: Hot tubbin' just got a whole lot hotter. [Teddy looks at Granny, while the Shangri Llama comes out of the water]
Shangri Llama: Amazing! It's like some kind of "Fountain of Never Getting Old!" [plants and bushes turn young again] Well, we can workshop the name later. [flowers bloom and turned young again, Brooke also turns young again too, she sighs]
Manny: [as he, Sid, Brooke, and Ellie walk out together] Sid? I never thought I'd say this, but you did a great job on the wedding. I owe you bigtime, pal.
Sid: You sure do... [holds out a leaf and Manny takes it] here's my bill.
Sid: Father of the bride pays for the wedding! It's a tradition I just invented.
Manny: [taking the leaf with his trunk] Wait a minute. This is ridiculous. Look what you're charging for flowers!
Sid: Flowers ain't cheap.
Manny: No, they're free! We're in a forest! This bill is outrageous!